The 200 Poonders Golf Tour

Meet the Players

Larder Cup Holders

Bally (Handicap: 25)

Tour Negotiator-in-Chief

Bally first joined the Tour in 1995, as a non-playing member due to sporting a broken arm. He probably could have played that year and performed as well as he managed in the subsequent early Tours right up to when he finally won his first Green Jacket in 2001.

He won again in 2003, but after that has had many barren years, leading to him being bottom of the All Time Tour Record table - something he is not at all happy about.

In recent years Bally has upped his game, and after a couple of runners-up performances, finally regained the title in 2020, with a well deserved and popular victory in Cumbria & Kirkcudbright......a great come-back story after his brush with the Reaper in 2018, which caused him to miss that Tour.

It remains to be seen if he can continue the upward trajectory, and chip away at that massive All Tour shortfall.

3 Tour Championships, 10 time Larder Cup Winner
2020 Performance: Champion
On the Scales – Weigh In: 218  Weight Out: 225  Delta: +7

Andy (Handicap: 16)

Tour Dad

Another one of the founder members, Andy struggled to be competitive in the early years of the Tour, but has turned things around in more recent years and is now one of the most consistent performers, and sits proudly at the top of the All Time Tour Record table.

What he lacks in length he makes up for with his fairway & approach play, and is now the player with the most Larder Cup wins in addition to 5 Tour Championships. He hasn't finished outside the top 3 for 8 years, since he finished last in the Isle of Wight.

Andy is Tour Statto and Editor of Straining Strides, all of which contributes to him being known as Tour Dad. He is now also the new Rigsby, having bought the Cottage, so has cemented himself very firmly in the fabric of the 200 Poonder Tour history & future.....what a guy!

5 Tour Championships, 15 time Larder Cup Winner
2020 Performance: Runner up
On the Scales – Weigh In: 220  Weight Out: 228  Delta: +8

Jase (Handicap: 24)

Tour Chef & Bon Viveur

Jase made his first appearance on Tour in 1997, and was the last player to break his duck when he was crowned Tour Champion in Le Touquet in 2003.

Since then he has racked up a further 3 Championships, and in 2020 added his 14th Larder Cup title to his record.

Jase is well known for his unusual golfing equipment, famously donning a dentists apron for many years whenever the weather was a bit inclement, and to this day insisting on using a rusty pitching wedge which should by rights have been thrown into a greenside pond many years ago by now.

As Tour Chef & Wine connoisseur, Jase has kept the Tour well fed and watered over the years, and has introduced now legendary favourites to the Tour table such as Chivas Regal & Yellowtail.

His other claim to fame is as the Big Man of the Tour - one of only 2 coveted yellow 250 Poond shirt holders, and the only one who can still wear it with pride.....if he could get into it any more!

4 Tour Championships, 14 time Larder Cup Winner
2020 Performance: 3rd & Larder Cup Winner
On the Scales – Weigh In: 250  Weight Out: 252  Delta: +2

Also Rans

Junior (Handicap: 19)

Tour Pornographer

Junior made his debut in 1997, bringing a youthful element to the Tour as well as a constant supply of choice adult material in various formats, keeping the lads at the forefront of grumble publishing methods for the best part of 25 years.

He has managed to lift the famous Claret Jug on 3 occasions, neatly spaced 8 years apart since his first win in 2000. As one of the Tour long hitters, he has maintained a handicap in the high teens throughout that period, although that is partly due to a hefty 3 shot penalty that was levied on him following his failure to secure the appropriate passes to join the 2009 trip to Florida.....such is the merciless fury of the 200 Poonder judicial system.

His legendary relationship with Bally is as enduring as it is stomach-churning, and he is also notable for the number of Tour catchphrases that he has been the originator of, such as 'It's a bit oakey', 'Can't be 10 & 8-ed' and 'Another beer?'.

3 Tour Championships, 10 time Larder Cup Winner
2020 Performance: 5th
On the Scales – Weigh In: 232  Weight Out: 234  Delta: +2

Ian (Handicap: 17)

Tour Sick-note

As his registration plate proudly states, Ian is the BO55 THP. It was his original idea to initiate a Golf Tour back in 1994, using the cottage he had been handed as a dowry as a bolthole to base the fledgeling gathering out of. In those early days, Nodge was unplayable on the golf course, or rather the ragtail band of non-players he had assembled to extract money from were completely shambolic from tee to green.

However, after a number of years of rich pickings, the tables turned and not only did the Master start to get some of his own medicine, but he also started to suffer from a number of ailments, such as an allergy to twisty roads & even small amounts of alcohol, both of which have proved major issues for the lad in more recent years.

He has tried to address those problems by moving the Tour to the USA, the land of straight roads and pissy lager, but it sadly hasn't seemed to have helped with his performance on the golf course, so whilst he still remains the player to have won the most championships, he is languishing in the more prestigious Larder Cup roll of honour.

It remains to be seen if he can ever recapture the 'Glory Days'.

9 Tour Championships, 6 time Larder Cup Winner
2020 Performance: 4th
On the Scales – Weigh In: 218  Weight Out: 225  Delta: +7

Kev (Handicap: 25)

Tour Lightweight

One of the Tour founder members, Kev has ridden a roller-coaster over the years.

In the early days he was famously referred to by Andy as 'the dumb blonde on the arm' of, at that time, the invincible Mr Lowe. Those words were stuffed down his throat when in 1997, Kev became the first player to break Nodge's dominance of the Tour.

Kev was the player to beat in the late 2000s and early 2010s, chalking up a number of Championship wins and a long unbeaten run in the Larder Cup.

In recent years he has struggled again, and finished bottom of the pile in 2020, which will make him very competitive off of 25 in 2021.

Kev's weight has always been a concern - the perennial lightweight was regularly below the 200 poond mark in the early years, but more recently had established himself above the minimum marque. That all went wrong last year, with his lowest ever weigh-in, and despite a 5 poond gain on Tour, he needs to be careful to avoid major fines next time out.

4 Tour Championships; 12 Larder Cup Wins
2020 Performance: 6th
On the Scales – Weigh In: 185  Weight Out: 190  Delta: +5
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